Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game.

Hi #####,

Kelsi and I have a problem. I’ll start at the beginning:

Kelsi and I first arrived in Korea July 19th, 2009. We taught at a summer camp and were hoping to land contracts afterward. During the camp we were offered jobs, but needed more documentation (specifically, copies of our diplomas that had yet to be printed). After the camp I exited Korea, for approximately 10 days, to visit friends in China. My plan was to reenter Korea with all the proper documents to apply for an E-2 visa. Kelsi stayed in Korea. She hoped to make a visa run to Japan when the paperwork went through. Unfortunately, it was two weeks after I reentered Korea that our paperwork was in order.

This is where the problem seems to have emanated. Instead of us making visa runs to Japan, those handling us arranged to get our visas by mail. So, they sent our visa applications and passports to an office in New York. A contact presented these materials to the consulate. We received our visas shortly afterwards, then picked up our ARCs, purchased multiple entry endorsements from the office of immigration, and started our contracts.

Fast forward: we noticed Kelsi’s multiple entry endorsement expires early (July instead of September). On a trip to Mokpo we visited the immigration office to have it fixed. When we got there Kelsi was hit with a battery of questions regarding the origin of her visa. This was disconcerting to say the least. We excused ourselves and called our contact, who’d set us up with the job. Long story short: the immigration office recognized our visas to be illegitimate. This is despite the fact they issued us multiple entry endorsements earlier in our contract.

The immigration office contacted the powers-that-be and the blame-ball got rolling. We knew our visa process was unorthodox, but not illegal. To make amends we were asked to write letters of apology (despite our ignorance). To clear up the rest: we were told that someone would have to accept blame, pay a fine, and we’d need to make a visa run to Japan. We were told new visas, obtained in Japan, would take us through the rest of our contract. We obliged with apology letters (were not told whom to address) and waited for more instructions.

At this point the problem appeared to be solved. We’d pay for a short trip to Japan, but at least our contact hooked us up with a one time (250,000 won) side job to ease some financial burden. Given that Kelsi used all her sick days dealing with her broken foot, the biggest worry was arranging for time-off to take the trip.

We’ve been waiting for further instructions and finally got them yesterday. According to our contact we cannot get new visas without signing a new contract (1 E-2 Visa, per year, per contract). This means that if we do not intend to re-sign for a second year, we cannot legally work in Korea and will need to leave before finishing our contract. If we cannot finish our contract then we are not entitled to our severance bonus (about one paycheck), retainer refund (about 500 USD), ticket home (1,300 USD), and our last paychecks. My contact admitted that he is not an expert in this situations (a fact I’ve known for a long time). So, I’m writing you to ask for help. I’m sure you can imagine why I’m a bit upset with this one.

I hope all is well with you. Thanks for all your help,

Ross Mordini and Kelsi Herman

In June, I wrote this letter to the liaison between my province’s office of education and foreign English teachers. So, this is our main stream connection to the powers-that-be in my provincial office of education. Needless to say, this person spends a great deal of time handling complaints and resolving problems for the growing population of foreign English teachers in the province.

Hi #####,

This is an update email on the visa issue Ross and I have been grappling with.  After several meetings with our friend in the Jeollanamdo Government office, we established that our visa problems would be solved; all we needed was to go to the immigration office as soon a we could, and show them our plane ticket leaving the country (scheduled 2 days after our contract ends on September 27th).  This process seemed to be part of the typical visa extension most English teachers have to go through.

This Friday, when I arrived at the office, I was told that I arrived 5 days too late.  My multiple entry endorsement expired on July 17th and, because our visas have been deemed illegitimate, July 17th was the last day I could come in to get my visa extended to the end of my contract.  I am told that I missed my chance to fix my visa and will now have to leave the country before August 31st-one month before my contract ends.  In addition: I was informed that the immigration office’s copy of my contract has no start/end dates written on it.

I am at a loss.  I am unclear on why arriving 5 days after my multiple entry visa expiration date means that I must leave August 31st.  In addition, I am not sure how it is possible that I have received my salary for the past year, have been issued a cellphone, and opened a bank account with an illegitimate visa.  This entire process has left Ross and I with questions and no one to communicate the answers clearly.

Ross’s situation is slightly different because before we were hired Ross went to China for a few weeks and returned in early September while I stayed in Korea.  That being said, his multiple entry expiration date is September 2nd, giving him more than a month to go to the immigration office and renew his “illegitimate” visa.

This is clearly a messy situation and I am not sure who to contact for help or guidance.  Best case scenario: I would like to finish my contract with Nohwa Middle School and leave on a positive note.

My contact, ##############, has advised me to break my contract with Nohwa Middle School before August 31st, sign a new contract, and go to Japan/China to be issued a new visa.  Ideally I would resign at Nohwa Middle School.  Do you know if that is possible?  If not, are there other schools with positions available?

Thank you for your patience with this matter.  Hope to hear from you,

Kelsi Herman
Nohwa Middle School

Please contact me if you have any questions.

I wanted to post these letters (edited for content and clarity) to demonstrate what can go wrong for foreign English teachers in Korea. This situation reflects on the dis-empowerment of foreigners in Korea, the common lack of effective communication, and ineffective problem solving used in dealing with foreign affairs. I am no expert, but it is my opinion that these issues stem from a Korean brand of problem solving that requires one person to assume blame and lose face (damage to reputation). Often, the person to assume blame rests at the top of the hierarchy. If those lower on the hierarchy worry about saving their face (and possibly more) they will do whatever they can to avoid communicating a problem to their superior. In Korea the happiness and success of a superior is parallel to the happiness and success of those below hir. Unfortunately, my experience has demonstrated that little can be accomplished without the presence of a superior. Therefore, an ideal solution would protect the reputation of everyone involved.  If saving face is paramount (and it is), but a scapegoat must be identified, then a simple solution (in the case of a foreigner vs. Korean bureaucracy) would be to send the foreigner packing.

I’m not saying our situation is unique. In any country foreigners are privy to pitfalls in the system (as the USA demonstrates). After all, it’s hard to keep a nation together without clearly delineating native from foreigner, then giving benefits to the natives. It keeps everyone in the club. Unfortunately,  Kelsi and I are in danger of foregoing millions of Won due to a certain rigidity in the Korean system. What is most perplexing is the length of time we’ve operated without sanction. I’ve been told that this sort of thing happens all the time.  I just hope it doesn’t happen again. A cynical moral to the story: if it does happen again I’m not gonna have the power to stop it. Maybe it’s time for a Buddhist temple stay.

Positive Contamination

I’ve had few opportunities to engage with the arts in Korea. That’s something I miss from home and am ecstatic to find abroad. Last weekend I visited the opening of an exhibition at the Gwangju International Center. The three artists-L.A. White (paint on canvas), Sarah Epp (digital drawing/photoshop), and John Mcmartin (ceramics) addressed themes related to interracial relationships, food/health, and modern education’s failure to foster creativity. The artists’ presentations, with Korean and global relevance, were poignant. It was good vibes all around.

I missed the first part of John Mcmartin’s presentation, but gathered it had little to do with his art, and more to do with what art can do. His focus was on the way modern education stifles creativity. He borrowed this from a TED Talk video. Mcmartin quotes Sir Ken Robinson: “If your not prepared to be wrong then you’ll never come up with anything original.” The point: for students to be creative, and ultimately successful, an educator needs to support risk taking as part of the learning process. In light of the many Korean English students who refuse to speak, for fear of being wrong, it is a valid critique. There aren’t many successful people who never took chances. On a related note: John makes some fresh functional art out of clay.

L.A. White, the second speaker, breached her topic by introducing one major influence-a Korean slang that translates “to ride the white horse.” This is slang for a Korean man who fucks a western white woman. Often white woman (especially blonds), in Korea, are thought to be promiscuous and Russian. White rejects both these stereotypes in her work. She is engaged to a Korean man and, from this relationship, has met racism for the first time. Members of her fiance’s family have expressed concern over the prospect of interracial children. “Don’t mix the blood,” a quote from her fiance’s relative, is the inspiration for a number of her 13 pieces. White’s range and style are exceptional. I loved the attention to eyes and texture technique.

Sarah Epp, my first couchsurfing connection in Korea, did an interesting critique of modern society’s perception of food, with a series of photo-shopped trademarks. I was further impressed by her “manufactured solutions for a dying planet” (loved the title) series; photoshopped drawings of animals dawning artificial survival solutions. For example: a polar bear wearing a life jacket was my favorite. The shark with a strap-on fin was cool too. I think they’d make good t-shirts. Sarah got some heated rhetorical questions from an audience member who wanted to expose her ignorance of Korea’s food/farming systems. Another audience member made an apt observation that, despite her lacking knowledge on one aspect of Korea, she was speaking to global issues. This was an interesting example of the clash between local and global perspectives. Too bad I didn’t witness a conclusion in this case, but that’s another topic altogether.

In true Korean fashion there was a ceremony at the end. All the artists got a certificate and there was a big table of food in the center of the room. This would have been my cue to exit if not for the words of Professor Shin Gyong-gu (I think that’s right)-a leading supporter of the group that put together the exhibition. During his closing remarks he energetically thanked all the foreigners in the room (probably 95% of the attendance was foreign English teachers) for “positively contaminating” Korean culture. I often feel that being different threatens or offends some Koreans; at least it doesn’t garner much positive feedback. Receiving praise for my foreign presence was a unique feel-good moment; one that encourages me to spend more time in Korea.

For more info, artists statements, pictures, and other stuff check out:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/The-Questioner-The-Outcast-and-The-White-Adjumma/122443824463326?ref=ts

Exit Strategy

Cheaptickets.com says I’ll touch down in P-town (that’s Portland, Oregon USA to the layperson) at 2:35 PM on September 29th. That’s it. After a little over 14 months of living/working/traveling abroad (for the first in my life) I’m going home. I visualize an epic return to friends, family, and fresh projects that I’ll certainly follow through with. There will be daily coffee meetings-hammering out the next big thing, late night kickin’ it, good film/literature, outdoor spirit quests; a host of vibrant experiences. Of course, it’s only natural that I feel reverse culture shock, and the inevitable depression, following the high of my triumphant return. I gotta keep it real.

Hold up (says Nate Dogg)…. before I can do anything everyday I’ve got to focus on the here-and-now. I have 3 months left in Korea and will regret spending it in a daydream. So, I’ve put together a list of things I’d like to do before leaving Korea. Who knows if I’ll ever come back? So this is my tentative Korea Bucket List:

1.  Go back to Jeju-do, sans the guided tour, to hike Hallasan, visit Jeju Love Land, see that lava tube I missed, eat some more pig fed human feces, and generally get lost, on a rented scooter (or in Sam’s car), amidst the plethora of tourist traps.

2.  Go to Busan cause it’s the second largest city in South Korea. It could be cool to check out Haeundae Beach, eat some raw fish, and soak up the creative culture I’ve heard about.

3.  Visit Gyeongju for the “museum without walls” experience. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing, and reading, about Korean history. I want to see some more of it and Geyeonju is the place. As a bonus: Gyeonju is probably famous for something to eat/drink.

4.  Go to Seoul for The Creators Project. Lately, I’ve been into VBS.tv (Vice magazine’s Vid blog) which is where I found this event. I’m hoping it will be the modern creative spectacle I’ve been missing; making up for the the Hideo Kojima appearance I missed. Update: my co-teacher informed me that I can’t take the days off for The Creators Project thingy. Apparently my school starts up the last week in August (maybe I can cram it into a weekend=long trip for me). That leaves the first 3 weeks of August to take my seven days of summer vacation. I guess I could go see this and, of course, the DMZ-the last great outpost of the cold war and one of the world’s most frustrating stalemates.

5.  Have a no-holds barred party weekend @ my house and surrounding islands. Preferably, this plan would include camping on the beaches of nearby Bogil-do. That would give me a chance to try cooking meats, on rocks, over a campfire. My co-teacher told me how to do that. The ideal would be a weekend without rain. Rain cometh by that which you believe control fate.

6.  Go fishing. Drink beer.

7.  Hike another big mountain. I’d love to hike across Jirisan National Park and spend some nights in the sleeping shelters. However, I’d settle for a nice day hike with some friends.

8.  Check out a “Love Doll Experience Room.” A while back I read David Levy’s book on love and sex with robots. He reported that Korea saw a recent influx of hotels, pimping silicone satisfaction, after the sale of flesh was outlawed in 2004. The ubiquity of Korea’s prostitution industry is quite obvious, however, I’ve yet to hear more about these sex doll spots (save video of a Korean journalist “checking it out” that now seems to have disappeared from the web). Grimy as it sounds, one can’t deny the interesting implications of this modern trend. note: VBS.tv made a vid that explores the Japanese equivalent of this phenomenon.

9.  Eat dog meat.

I’m not the type to say I WILL do these things, but I’m likely to get to most of them. If any of my scant readership wishes to offer up any additions or alternatives please feel free to leave a comment. Also, feel free to join me in any of these final adventures. Peace.

The US vs. They Conspiracy

How much are they paying us? Wow, this is a good gig, but, ya know: I had travel expenses, I'm probably gonna spend a good chunk on dinner/drinks, plus there's the hotel. What are they getting paid? Shit. That's almost 1/3 of what we're getting. What the fuck Korea?

“They” are Korean provincial employees assigned to each of us. “Us” are four foreign English teachers chosen to interview Korean applicants for this year’s Jeollanamdo English summer camp teaching positions.

The issue essentially boils down to this: My Korean co-workers work longer hours, put up with more bullshit, and get paid less than I do. I’m ignorant of, or shielded from, most bullshit, work 9-5 (not including lesson prep), and am paid a tasty wage, plus benefits.

This work/wage discrepancy between Korean and Foreign teachers makes for issues of inequality in the work place. For one, Korean teachers (especially the young ones) are required to fill out mounds of paperwork. On top of that they are responsible for any paperwork regarding the foreign teacher. As a foreign teacher, I contribute to a small percentage of my paperwork and am rarely required to produce any sort of scholastic material. If there’s a problem with my paperwork, or me, my co-teacher gets the shaft for it (like this).

Another, more tangible difference, is work hours. My co-teachers stay at school until 9 PM, or even 12 AM, and works every other Saturday. After regular school hours they might tutor students, teach an extra class, or supervise a study hall. An upside is they have a more intimate relationship with the students and school community. I cycle through 6 different schools (on 4 islands), rendering my appearance practically novel.

Ever more tangible are the living situations. My school is supplied a budget for outfitting my home with appliances, furniture, etc. To my knowledge, Korean teachers are responsible for their own amenities. A co-teacher of mine said he just spent 100,000 won on a used refrigerator. To be fair, no teacher pays rent. However, in my experience, foreigner teacher quarters are much nicer than Korean teacher quarters. Then again, most Korean teachers have family and homes they visit on the weekends, so the lame conditions might be a lesser inconvenience. It’s always important to look at multiple points of view.

I can only handle so many points of view.

Speaking of won: I tend to get more of it, compared to Korean teachers my age. I also have the opportunity to change schools at the end of each contract and can always apply to new jobs throughout Korea and abroad. My Korean co-teachers are essentially locked into a school for at least 3-4 years if they want to maintain good standing within the system.

And believe me, good standing is everything for a Korean public school teacher. Like the USA, long term employment with the public school system means excellent benefits and near guaranteed employment. Also, public school teachers garner loads of respect in Korean culture. It would seem the downside, like lifelong employment with a single institution,  is that the teacher is often locked into teaching within a small area (typically the province). In this way the global transient lifestyle of the foreign ESL teacher is, well…foreign, to most Korean teachers.

I could go on about slight job requirements for foreigners to the destructive dis-empowerment of teachers in the workplace, but I’d rather be more creative. Here’s my conspiracy:  Foreigners are outsiders in the ol’ Hermit Kingdom. The wage/benefit discrepancy makes this perception more egregious. Foreign English teachers are pacified by excessive wage, benefits, and Hite; they don’t work too hard to close the gap. In times of unrest, the foreign English teacher is an easy scapegoat. Outrageous claims, such as those made by the Anti-English Spectrum, couple nicely with the fact that foreign teachers are more expensive than the good Korean teachers. Foreign English teachers are then phased out, the country is strengthened by its new-found solidarity, and K-life marches on. Foreign English teachers leave, pleased by the opportunity for profitable employment. Both sides are happy without worrying needlessly about equality.

It’s just a thought.

On a side note: It’s the first time I’ve given an official interview. I say “official” cause I think life is sometimes a series of interviews. That’s another story all together.

I wasn’t too fond of the power, and judgment to be made. However, I got to hear some really great stories from Koreans with lofty aspirations and interesting backgrounds. My vision of Korea gets pretty slight after too much time spent on the island. It’s cool to hear about the different moves people are making.

Shout out to people who read this blog. You guys are awesome. I promise that my next blog will be much more interesting. Peace.

One Night’s Embassy

I don't have any pictures from last weekend. This picture from The City of Elliot Lake Fire Department website illustrates my point well enough. Please donate a better photo is if you have one.

Beneath a ceiling of stars, on a floor of soft sand, a campfire’s gravity bends time and space. A mass of native English teachers convene on 명사심리, a beach on 신지도. The 외국인 (foreigner) experience ceases to be a clash of culture; now a momentary intermingling of beings bound by common language, experience, and drink. A Tupperware drum keeps time for a guitar and voices that bellow lyrics-like a tribal chorus. Comfort clad foreigners howl through the smoke and dance familiar dances. The rhythm and setting are unmistakeably comfortable.

In this foreign place the firelight’s a temporary embassy, yet the ambassadors don’t show for nationality or politics. The details vary, but these human motives are often social in nature. This was my primary objective for living/working abroad-interact with people and understand new things first hand. However, there’s a threshold for one’s ability to relate in a foreign experience, given limits to change/time. Language, culture, politics, and varying levels of understanding can all be barriers. In the the warm halo of campfire many things are familiar. Newness is negligible, intimacy is enhanced.

Fish, fuck, eat, sleep, fight, speak-It may all go down harmoniously like a romanticized version of the wild. I may conveniently enhance my understanding of the 외국인 experience and the world. That being said I will not (cannot) give up the newness (the foreign). After all, most conversation around the campfire emanates from the 외국인 experience.

Character Development: Kelsi

She's back in Portland with a broken foot. You can't get that breakfast here, but the soccer jersey is appropriate.

I might be an egomaniac. You may have gathered this from one particular point in this writing: my girlfriend, and the second half of team Nohwa, remains the least developed character in the blog. This is not accidental. Koreancuts has always been about me. I’d hoped my girlfriend would have entered the blog via her own textual contribution. She has some great stories. Unfortunately, she has yet to respond to my prods for a post.

With this in mind I’d like to round out a very important piece to my Korean experience. Her name is Kelsi, my girlfriend and “my wife (face saving title)”. As I’ve said: we came to Korea in July 2009 and have since been working through a year-long commitment; teaching English on a small island of the south tip of the Korean peninsula. Bottom line: if there is one person, place, or thing that’s gotten me through this challenging experience, it is her.

I haven’t done a top ten list yet, so here goes:

The Top Ten Things About Kelsi

10. She’s a yoga instructor. She’s particularly coy with this subject, but is nevertheless an accomplished practitioner and recently (last year) certified instructor. Who wouldn’t see the benefits in that.

9. When she’s upset the rage is rarely misdirected at me and seldom lasts longer than 24 hrs. This might sound kinda back-handed, but it’s actually something I genuinely appreciate about her.

8. She watches sci-fi with me.

7. She likes to go for walks. This is helpful since I default to lazy. Her energy inspires me to stay active and find joy in physical activity. At the same time, she’s not over-the-top excitable, like a caffeinated gym rat.

6. She likes my cooking. This is the kind of maintenance I can sustain.

5. She’s pretty without makeup and typically won’t waste too much time getting dressed.

4. We can laugh at stuff that has no logical reason for being funny. Sometimes, there’s hilarity, even in silence.

3. When splitting a pizza she’ll fill up on a vegetable and give me an extra slice.

2. We can talk about anything (as cliché as it sounds). If we couldn’t talk about anything, and I mean anything, the relationship wouldn’t work. Period. I’m not good with leaving things unsaid between people I spend a lot of time with.

1. She’s my best general purpose friend these days. I love all of my friends for different reasons, but Kelsi takes the award for all around best performance. I love her for that.

I hope that rounds out Kelsi’s character a bit. From now on, I’ll refer to her by name, in lieu of the aforementioned “my girlfriend” or “my wife.”

P.S. Happy Mother’s day to those whom it concerns, especially my mom.

Excuses From Isolation Island

I’ve been seriously neglecting the blog lately. It’s not that I’m lazy or uninspired. As my buddy and I discussed last weekend: living in Korea leaves no shortage of quality stories to tell. So, I’ve got loads of stories packed away and plenty of instant coffee packets to combat the laziest modes. What’s the deal?

Here’s my list of excuses:

-For one, a bit of disposable income purchased me all sorts of distractions; notably a Nintendo DS w/ R4 card.

-I’ve been watching too much screen (Battlestar Galactica) and reading less. This doesn’t stimulate the writing centers too well. Especially when your plugged in to some of the world’s fastest IT infrastructure. When I’m reading I think more about writing. When I’m screening I think more about doodling.

-Many of my stories fall into NET(native English teacher) K-blog clichés. I have stories about festivals, drinking soju, awkward moments, problems at school, happy days, sad days, sunny days, and other common items I’m not too excited to rehash.

-Often times I question my motives for telling a particular story. The good times are like sunshine. I want to enjoy them, then go home and get a good night’s sleep. When times are grim all I want to do is fester. Festering usually means being inside on a rainy day, where I’d like nothing better than to prosaically rip a hole in something that pissed me off about Korea. Breathe. That would only make my blog read like the rambling of an intolerant asshole. I believe I’m not intolerant.

-I was too married to the idea of a linear narrative. I’m not an obsessive mind that will crank out daily posts to paint a vivid picture of day-to-day life. However, my goal for this blog was to let others know how I’m living. Instead of getting on about my life here, I’ve had a tendency for long infrequent posts on abstract topics. As if anybody really cares what I think about the Korean English curriculum and its content. My “Playing Ketchup” posts were an earlier attempt to get back into the swing, but I again fell victim to non-productivity.

-I really wanted to jazz this blog up with multimedia. Unfortunately I don’t have enough horsepower to edit the AVCHD I’ve captured on my new vid cam. I’ll probably get some pictures up instead. My girlfriend takes excellent pictures. The vid edit job will have to wait until I get back to the states or can get my grubbies on a HD vid editing PC.

-Hangovers and Sunday Sloth

It feels good to get some of that out instead of just talking about it. I’ve tried to not let this project become an egotistical rant, but sometimes it feels good.

So, for anyone whose interested: I’m held up in the chilly library at Nohwa-do JoonAng (meaning “central”) Elementary. I’ve got the morning free while the students practice for field day next week. The practice is for various Olympic style events and a group choreographed song/dance number. I resist the urge to compare it to Mass Games in North Korea. It’s not that sick and the kids seem to enjoy it.

My girlfriend broke her foot the weekend before last. The doc on call didn’t have any casting material or proper crutches (her trip via ferry and taxi for crutches is a whole other story). The broken bone shifted last week while she soldiered through school in a removable splint (Korean MO). A orthopedist in Wando said she’d need surgery to pin the bones back together. He was a dick by refusing our offer to use a translation service to communicate about the surgery and recovery (his English was not as good as he thought).  Everyone else at the hospital was awesome, but Kelsi decided to head back to the states for surgery. According to specialists in the USA Kelsi will not need surgery, but will need to stay in a cast, non-weight bearing, for 4 weeks. That leaves me with a long stretch alone on Nohwa-do.

Meanwhile, it’s day 3 on isolation island. I’ve held it together fairly well. My consumer distractions have helped a bit. I’ve also been entertaining myself. Years of bumbling about in my parent’s basement have taught me to find joy in simple things. Last night I made a coozy for the glass jar that I drink tea hot tea out of. I got tired of burning my hands. The project was a mild success. I later converted it into a hanging pen cup. Now I have pens next to the bed. This makes it easier to doodle during Nintendo breaks and internet video load times. I ran into this guy’s flash animation site which I really dig. I see raw talent, a keen eye for pop culture, and the guts to follow one’s goofy thought processes. Perhaps there’s a message in there. Props to Lord Zorgatron!

Worship

It’s Sunday, about 11 AM, and a man I’ve just met hands me The New International Bible open to Psalm 8. It’s page 503 (my area code back home)-holler! Rows of benches face an altar inside a wood-paneled room. The man takes his place at an altar in the front of the room. A projector displays crosses and a 노래방 (noraebong-karaoke) machine trademark on a screen fixed next to the altar. The man’s wife, 시느, gives me a ride to the ferry on Monday and Friday. She belts out the 노래방 lyrics louder than anyone in the room. I can’t remember her husband’s name, but he’s the leader of this little congregation. Something about this rings familiar. I’m not home, but I’ve been here before.

My reminiscence is triggered by childhood memories of Sunday, when my mom would pry my sister and I from the tube (it was always “Ren and Stimpy”-my favorite, goddamnit) and haul us to church; Catholic Mass @ St. Pius X. In fact, nostalgia kicked in earlier when I slid-shut our ride’s van door. The unmistakable slide-and-crash sound of our 92′ Ford Aerostar’s rear side door comes to mind when I manually slide-shut a van door. It’s a sound that will forever precede many childhood. My father rarely attended these Sunday rituals. His church was behind the reigns of a dual bladed Ransom lawn mower. Tending his 2 acre kingdom of partially landscaped suburbia was, and is, I believe, the nearest to God my father may ever get in this lifetime.

This knotty wood clad church, half full of mother’s with 2.5 squirming kids, reminded me of my mother doing her duty as a good Catholic school mom. There wasn’t a single father in the joint.

After a few songs the pastor launched into his sermon. My eyes started to glaze over.

Some people slip into a holy trance by the words of a preacher. Others are deeply stimulated. I, however, hold it together in a state just slightly more conscious than sleep. As a kid, to stay awake, I would simulate my next move in the video game I had on pause, or come up with novel concepts for the characters in audience (there was this one guy with a hook for a hand…). In Korean mass I stay awake thanks to the ahjumma behind me who pokes me and turns the pages of my Korean language songbook. My girlfriend, is characteristically, showing a sick face of irritation. “I feel like I’m about to blow,” she whispers to me. To her credit this is even more difficult as “my wife.” Everyone is being extra Korean by not addressing her and ignoring my motions to include her in conversation, or introduction. After several instances of “Kelsi did this…” or “Kelsi likes that…” 시느 continues to refer to her as “my wife.”

For example: “My Wife like 김 치(kimchi)?” and “Go home with My Wife,” she says.

The woman behind me is one of the alpha females in the congregation. I know because she sings almost as loud as 시느 and her children are the best dressed and take part in the mass. At one point her daughter goes forth to recite a memorized passage (her mother coaches her from the pew). Her son plays a song on his recorder. Back in the day I avoided these kids-sons and daughters of the over involved parishioners. They had a holy aura that meant fatal ignorance of mainstream kid culture. For me, these kids existed in an inexplicable world of youth groups and bible studies. I often wonder what happened to some of them. It common for those inundated with Catholic rhetoric at a young age to be something of ticking time bomb. I should know, my childhood bubble wasn’t much more liberal.

Mass ends. I stand just in time to recover the sense of feeling in my ass and get some blood to my frozen feet; the little slippers that can’t reach my heals have epically failed. The pastor beckons us to his home next to the church. We enter the main room and sit down on the padded floor. 시느 and her cohorts are hustling in the kitchen to bring out the lunch. The women present us with a fine spread of delicious chicken, kimchi, yogurt w/fruit (good for health), and pickled radish. A woman says the peppers on the side are not hot. This is a kind gesture; everyone knows that foreigners can’t handle Korea’s fiery cuisine.

The pastor speaks some English so we do the routine exchange of age, height, religion, number of children, and countries we’ve visited. For a moment I forgot that I’d been to SE Asia. I tell him I was raised Catholic, but do not go to church anymore. He asks me if I believe in Jesus Christ. The smart-ass that I am answers: “Well that’s a difficult question. I don’t know what you mean by believe?”

He runs it down, “Jesus was born, died, and rose from the dead.” He wanted to know if I believed in the death, resurrection, ascension of Christ.

I reply: “I don’t know. I think it is an interesting story.” I know he gets the “interesting story” part because he repeated it back to me.

Then he says: “We believe in four things. God is love, man is sin, Jesus died for man’s sin, and, if we believe in Jesus, God will forgive sin.” Clear enough.

I go for a simple reply: “I believe that God is love. If I love then I can be like God and Jesus. I will be happy and have no sin.”

I don’t want to inadvertently agree with any totems or taboos constructed in a language I don’t understand. I do that enough as it is. That being said I keep it polite. It’s clear we’re both trying our best to be good folks. I’d just rather observe the sabbath by my couch and ritual. That being said I might consider coming back if I ever need a delicious chicken fix. The pastor say I’m welcome anytime (think that goes for “My Wife” too). They are good people, just not stepping to the same Sunday strut.

After a few last exchanges we leave with our ride-a mother and daughter from the parish and luncheon. The daughter keeps looking at me and taking pictures with her cell phone. She’s trying to be covert, but I can tell that she’s trying to capture the strange foreigners in the back seat. I put on chap stick and she explodes with excitement; my strange behavior. Her mother points out the “Mu Flowers.” The little yellow radish buds blanket the countryside plots. Sure, it’s beautiful. I’ve got to get home and prepare for Monday’s lesson.

The Show

So, I was on the ferry to Nohwa-do one afternoon when an 아저씨(ahjussi) introduced himself to me in English. He had worked as a teacher/principal and was now enjoying retirement. His English was excellent so I asked him if he’d ever lived abroad. He said he’d gone to the United States once to visit a friend in New York. Unfortunately, he never met his friend. When he landed in California, and realized the distance between the East and West coast of North America, it became clear to him that visiting his friend in New York was illogical.

We chatted about life as an English teacher, Korea, and retirement. He was taking the ferry with his grandchildren to sight-see on Bogil-do. Suddenly the discussion turned political:

“Barak Obama is visiting Korea,” he said. “White man don’t like the negro, you know, the black man.”

“What!?” “Who told you that?” I said, respectfully, but wholly taken aback.

I believe he noticed a line had been crossed. He chuckled embarrassingly, excused himself, and went back to his family.

Clearly, he thought that I, or those like me (“white man”), do not like blacks (“the negro, the black man”). I can only speculate on the man’s motivation for sharing this racist information.

I wasn’t entirely surprised, given the man’s age. Comparably, my grandparents were, and are, prone to bouts of bigotry (however harmless they’re regarded by my family). I consider their attitudes as products of lives-and-times I cannot fully understand, nor access. That being said I cannot deny the concept of race and racism has played a role in my development. For one, my grandfather, prior to senility, was an endless supply of racist jokes that introduced me to the cornucopia of racial stereotypes. It certainly doesn’t end there, but that’s not the point.

In the USA racist rhetoric, in even its most seemingly benign forms, is a reminder of the tragic history it has informed. However, Korea is not the United States so race and racism must be constructed differently, right? The answer is: I’m not sure how to answer that question. In Korea, its difficult for me to tell the difference between racism and different modes of political correctness. Arguably there is no difference between the two, but I’m not going to get into that. What I want to write about is what I’ve seen and heard as a teacher and foreigner. My examples will, hopefully, go somewhere to understand a Korean worldview that might explain the ignorance demonstrated in my meeting the old man on the ferry.

First, Korea is rather homogeneous compared to other countries. The number of foreign-borne citizens and foreigners living in Korea is minuscule. The foreign demographic is largely East Asian with a growing number of SE Asians and Eastern Europeans (as brides to Korean men in many cases).  This homogeneity might be a point of pride. I’ve been told, prior to about 5 years ago, Korean schools taught that Koreans were a pure race. It’s my understanding that this Korean “race” is defined by nationality and culture, not physical traits alone. A person born of Korean parents, outside Korea, is not necessarily Korean. The fully Korean person must know Korean food, language, dress, mythology, social norms, and other cultural characteristics. However, this is not all abstract notions of culture.

Fair skin, among other attributes,  predominates the popular mode of Korean beauty.  Most moisturizer, and other skin treatments, contain bleaching compounds. I’ve heard students teasingly claim that darker skinned students are from Africa. So, for Koreans, its true that there are ideal physical traits. When my girlfriend showed her middle school students an India Arie music video they all responded in disgust. “Teacher! Ugly!” they hollered, she reported. I’m inclined to disagree. I’m not going to discuss that further, but its important to acknowledge that Korean seem to prefer fair skin over dark skin. The ethnicity apparently has an ideal skin color-a trademark of race construction.

On top of this it’s often problematic for Koreans to have romantic relationships outside their ethnicity. It’s especially true for relationships between foreign men and Korean woman. Often such relationships carry a stigma. A foreign man might be seen as a rapist or the woman might be viewed as morally loose. With less Korean women marrying, and slightly more men to women, one can understand competition or jealousy leading to rash beliefs.  Often I hear of foreign-Korean couples dating in secret or simply engaging in one night stands, to save face. The pressure for Koreans is to marry and reproduce. I believe the ideal would be to keep it between Koreans.

I’m getting a little off track with Korean-Foreigner coupling (I don’t have any first hand experience), but I hope this paints a VERY brief view of “The Hermit Kingdom” (a nickname for Korea), and its insular state, as I see it. Korea has a predominately homogeneous demographic, with an idealized concept of beauty (and race), and pressure to date/marry within the ethnicity. Traditionally success depends on following these (and other) cultural mandates. To act outside tradition is dangerous, risking failure and shame. Being, looking, and acting the part are all important aspects to Korean ethnicity.

Ironically, the official rhetoric of contemporary Korea contains messages of globalization and progress. The powers that be clearly want Koreans aware of the “global village” and act as successful participants. The most ubiquitous sign of this trend is English education. English, seen as a global lingua franca, is a priority on par with other core scholastic subjects. Parents push teachers to expose the students to more English material and will supplement the public curriculum by sending their kids to private 학원 (hagwon) after school. It’s typical for a student to study until midnight at a hagwon. A popular saying, related by a co-teacher, goes something like this: Sleep four hours, pass. Sleep five hours, fail.

With all the time and emphasis given to English education it’s important for students to receive quality instruction. Here I emphasize content, aiding instruction, as most important. Any ESL lesson is an important vector for cultural study. Class content demonstrates the message. It should be understood that culture goes together with language. Therefore instruction of language, and culture, should be handled carefully for the most positive results.

My elementary school’s sixth grade English curriculum is based on the content of a by a CD-Rom. It is the same for grades 3-6. The contents of the CD-Rom, displayed in front of the class, provide multimedia for each lesson (in actuality, the CD-ROM does most of the heavy lifting). During class the teacher clicks through the sections of the CD-Rom corresponding to activities in the workbook. The course is pedagogically sound yet severely lacks in appropriate content, specifically that representing foreign cultures. I will demonstrate an example.

One CD-Rom strategy is video. At the end of the sixth grade’s 2nd lesson, chapter 1, students watch a claymation video then “role play” with the characters. The setting is a “Fashion Show.” It shows English in a “real” situation, using the key phrase-“Where are you from?”. Supplementing the language is the cultural representation signified by 3 women in traditional dress. The first scene features Miss Korea.

Korea

MC: Hi Everyone. Welcome to the fashion show. Hello. What’s your name?

Miss Korea: I’m Nami. Nice to meet you.

MC: Where are you from Nami?

Miss Korea: I’m from Korea.

MC: Do you like gimchi?

Miss Korea: Yes, I like gimchi.

MC: Thank You.

Miss Korea: Thank You.

In this scene Miss Korea dawns 한 복 (hanbok), or traditional Korean dress. This is a major cultural symbol. I’ve read that Korean adoptees, who return to Korea via government subsidized programs, are fitted with 한 복 to symbolically indoctrinate them into the Korean ethnic group. Most of the time people I see chase the latest fashion trends. It’s rare that I meet someone in 한 복. Next is Miss USA.

USA

MC: Hello. What’s your name?

Miss USA: Hello, everyone. I’m Ann.

MC: Where are you from, Ann?

Miss USA: I’m from the USA.

MC: Can you swim?

Miss USA: No. But I can play basketball. I like basketball.

MC: Oh, I see. Thank you.

Miss USA: Thank you.

The cowgirl outfit does signify an aspect of culture in the USA, but it’s a stretch to compare it to Korean hanbuk without proper explanation. To my knowledge the students never received any explanation of the cultural symbols in this lesson. The natural reaction of a student was to assume that people in the USA all wear cowboy gear from time to time (OK, maybe it happens). The second time I saw a co-teacher present this material a student asked me this question: “Teacher, you?” he said, pointing to the cowboy outfit. “No,” I said. To my recollection, I’ve only dressed as a cowboy once and it was for a Village People performance I did with my friends in Middle School. The irony of four kids’ choreographed rendition of the YMCA, originally sung by a group targeting gays, performed inside a Catholic Church…priceless (end tangent).  Next, is Miss Uganda.

Uganda

MC: Hello. What’s your name?

Miss Uganda: Hello. I’m Jane.

MC: Where are you from Jane?

Miss Uganda: I’m from Uganda.

MC: Did you have a nice vacation?

Miss Uganda: Yes. I visited my uncle in Japan.

MC: Oh, I see. Thank you.

Miss Uganda: Thank you.

MC: Next!

*Dialogue taken from the Teacher’s Manual. Don’t blame me for awkward language.

I’ve never been to Uganda, but I’m pretty sure they don’t dress like Fred Flintstone (or is that a piece of pizza?). It also looks like she may have used a little too much bleaching lotion on her body. I’ve assisted in teaching this lesson three times and every time Miss Uganda’s scene pops up there is an uproar of laughter. Ok, the rendition is ridiculous, but it’s more frightening when one thinks of the implications. The students simply do not have the knowledge to comprehend the absurd in the material. The first time I saw this lesson my co-teacher asked that I help him demonstrate the “role play.” I played the MC, he played the contestants. For Korea and USA he made played no special actions. For Miss Uganda he hopped on the stage, his left arm bent at the elbow with a side-scratching fist (like a monkey impersonation), and his right hand cupped over his mouth, to make the stereotypical war cry of a Native American warrior. The kids were dying of laughter. I was appalled.

Is this the map you would use to represent nations and cultural significance?

Korea expends a great deal of energy to keep and define its ethnicity-its culture, race, etc. Some lines I hear often are “Korea is most famous for _____” or “Koreans like ________.” Korea has some rough history with war and colonization so this mission of perceived solidarity is important to keep it together (whatever “it” is). From my perspective, as a foreign teacher, students are taught Korean history, literature, music, art, and even morals. They are constantly reminded of their role as students with stiff consequences if they step out of line. This doesn’t seem to change with age. What’s ironic is that one would think a nation so focused on educating its people about its ethnicity would accurately represent other cultures; at least get the map right (see above). Perhaps insularity is clouding the truth.

The evidence demonstrates how ignorance might prevail in Korea despite motions for the contrary. Investment in education is a great step toward bridging the gaps between Korea and other cultures. Unfortunately, just learning a foreign language does not open the doors to understanding, properly understanding and applying the content does. If racist or ignorant information is seeding the minds of young Koreans then that information, deeply ingrained by rigorous study, will fail them when engaging with a foreign community.

Ever seen Midnight Cowboy?

The next lesson begins with a couple trying to find York street in some unnamed English-speaking city. In need of help they ask a cowboy. That makes sense, right? Anyways, I apologize for the writing. With the blog I don’t worry too much about citation (unless I can use a hyperlink) or a perfect argument. Also, I live in a very rural setting where things are much different from in-or-around big cities. That being said standards tend to slide more around here. I believe, as with any modern state, the cities are much more progressive and aware of the rest of the world. That doesn’t let the national education system off the hook. There are major changes to be made.

A Vision of What I’m Working With

Since coming to Nohwa-do I’ve compiled a decent amount of pics, vids, and audio (the recording of Ahjummas on the bus is unfortunately lost).  Unfortunately, laziness and lack of a decent editing setup have hindered a synthesis of that material. Yesterday I ran across a vid on the soannh.com. It’s video of Soan-do, an island I work on, and the surrounding area. So for all of you wanting a vision of what I’m working with these days, check it:

mms://vod.farmers.co.kr/farmers/soannh.com/soando.wmv

P.S. this is another link on the website that’s a helpful ferry schedule for islands in the area:

http://soannh.com/ship/shipping_next.html